Tuesday, April 8, 2008

The Night is Still Young

Haha I think my blog is going to become more like a homework blog in the future.

Multiple items are up tonight...

-Physics SPA pt 11
-Read up Econs Chapter 9
-Econs MCQ and Structured Essay Qns
-Essay outline for question 8b
-Revision for upcoming H3 test.
-H3 Tutorial 1 and 2
-Carboxylic Acid and Derivatives

Argh. I need to complete all of these by tonight but I seriously doubt I can even complete half.


From my Past,
To my Future





Reflections

I feel depressed and helpless. The lack of sleep is putting my mood at a constant low.

Sometimes I wonder why I am in such a mess.

I think I am pretty intelligent.
I have all the study techniques I could probably need.
I can study without anyone teaching me.
I have the will power and determination to persevere.

But the reality is that I'm crumbling already. I don't know how long my will power can hold my crumbling physical self and my mental self.

All those tests coming one after another. CCAs. CIP. H3. I have no time for everything. I can only handle things one at a time.

Perhaps I should take a break from school and from lessons since I don't think I even need them if I'm not keeping up with the system. But I suppose I can't really do that...

All that I can do now is to convince myself that the fatigue is temporary and to set my priorities...

As of this moment, my priorities are:

1. To ace the H3 test this coming Saturday.
2. Catch up with Econs.
3. Do well for upcoming Electrochem test.
4. Sleep well.
5. Get 30 points for NAPFA.
5. Econs project.
6. OAC commitments.
7. CIP commitments.

Everything will work out fine like it always does. Endure.


From my Past
To my Future




Friday, April 4, 2008

Late Night

Its's 2am now. First late night I had in 5 days. Argh...

No, its not another H3 practical report. I wasn't even chionging essays or compos or mugging.

Well, I was doing the clues for the Intra Club Adventure Challenge (ICAC) before this. I thought it would only take me two and a half hour at most. The work started out at 8.45pm. The clues and write up was completed at 1.55am. I overshot my maximum estimated time by 2 hours. Hmm, not a small margin...

I guess the root of these late nights all boils down to my desire for perfection. Yes, I'm a hard core perfectionist. I can stay up all night just to make sure that the graphs in my report are aesthetically pleasing. And when the fonts aren't to my pleasure, I will gladly spend my time searching for that perfect font to suit my paragraphing.

Yea, I know it better that anyone else that this is really such a waste of time, going into those nitty gritty details just to make it look better. Come on, people won't even notice it. (Or wait, actually they sometimes do.) But then again, there is always this itch, this feeling of annoyance when my work's not perfect and I really can't stand it.

But on the other hand, my tolerance level for other people's work is way way higher than that for mine. You can produce work which isn't neat in any sense and I still won't feel any urge to ask for an improvement in presentation. Yep, I've got double standards.

Well, I've come to the conclusion that if the need for perfection is going to be my killer, I shall do exactly the opposite to survive. I'm going to hand in slip-shot work. I'm also going to change my handwriting style, from a slow but neat to a fast-and-furious, need-for-speed kind of style.

I hope that means early nights for me...


From my Past,
To my Future.